I went to the party alone. It was the second night of the Altitude Summit (which I was attending on behalf of my company) and the Downton-themed party was billed as a conference highlight. There would be wine, hors d’oeuvres, and a ballroom full of fashionable people eager to network and make small talk. Networking and small talk make me shudder, but I couldn’t pass up an excuse to dress like Lady Mary. I twisted my hair into an updo and rode the elevator down. The room was already full when I arrived, and I couldn’t see a familiar face or an empty chair. I walked into the party as if I had a destination in mind, but I didn’t.
After 20 minutes of post-Edwardian awkwardness and one dead-end conversation, I was ready to leave. I had circled the room three times doing things that appeared purposeful: ordering a glass of chardonnay, drinking the chardonnay a little too quickly (because repeated sipping makes you look “busy”), craning my neck as if I were looking for someone (I recommend that move. It says: “I’m not a loner but I do have a very tardy friend.”), opening my clutch then snapping it shut. Open. Shut. It felt like the time I played Shopper #3 in an elementary school play. I had four or five different motions I was supposed to repeat as I walked through the background of a bustling Christmas scene. In this situation, though, I had run out of motions and there wasn’t a curtain to end the scene.
My first foray into conversation went badly. Maybe I didn’t ask the right questions. Maybe the people I approached were not interested in talking to me. One of them glanced in my direction and said she liked my beaded headband. The other kept looking over my head and answered me in one-word sentences. I did what I didn’t want to do. I left the safety of the table and tried again. As an introverted person, initiating conversation with a stranger can be hard work. There are times it feels nearly like a physical challenge, as if I’m doing push ups. I hate push-ups. I approached another table and introduced myself to someone. She was friendly and we started to talk. Two other women soon joined us, followed by another solo partygoer. Then…we all talked for the next two hours. By the end, my new acquaintances were showing me photos of their pets and we had covered topics that ranged from “The Bachelor” to the future of social media. We exchanged business cards, took a group photo, and as we parted, there were hugs all around. It was a bewildering kind of magic I think extroverted people take for granted.
Sometimes you just have to put on your beaded headband and go to the party alone. But when given the choice, I’d rather meet new people in small doses in casual settings. Social media is the exception. As I’ve become more active on social media this past year (mainly Instagram), I’ve discovered it’s a party I actually want to attend. Meeting new people online is a introvert’s dream. Offline, I’d rarely compliment someone’s work out-of-the-blue or give a restaurant recommendation to a stranger. On social media, it’s the norm. I regularly interact with new people and find common ground. Furthermore, my online interactions have opened my eyes to like-minded creative people in my own community. This week, I’m highlighting some of those people. The social media world can seem like another crowd or packed ballroom with no place to stand. But like any party, it’s a room full of individuals, and if you take the chance, you can connect with real people about real things: books, art, social causes, dreams, photos of piglets against pastel-colored backdrops. Here are some faces in the crowd you might want to seek out.
Robin Reetz I met Robin at the Altitude Summit. She was one of the friendly people I talked to for two hours at the Downton party. (A fellow introvert, she also finds it ironic that we met at a party.) Robin’s a talented writer and a great advocate for independent designers. See a recent post she wrote on how to maintain your energy as an introvert and check out her extensive independent designer directory. Website:secondfloorflat.com Instagram:@robinreetz
Jen Brady
Jen and I live in the same city and have had overlapping social circles for years but I was first introduced to her poetry and photography on Instagram. Her work is beautiful and potent. Website:jenbradypoet.com Instagram:@jenbradypoet and @hossbrady
Tomissa Porath
I started following Tomissa on Instagram because of her photography and her commentary on life in Madison. A few months ago, we met offline at a local Instameet. She’s a writer and an avid reader with one of the most impressively curated personal libraries I’ve seen. Be sure to check out the “She Reads Books” section on her blog. Website:tomissaporath.com Instagram:@tomissaporath
Josh and Stasia Haroldson
How’s this for a small world? Josh and Stasia live a few streets away from us, and Stasia and I grew up in neighboring suburbs in Minnesota. How did we meet? Instagram. I started following Josh’s photography first, then met both of them at a local Instameet that Josh organized. Josh and Stasia host a podcast called “Our First Drink” where they interview creative and entrepreneurial couples. Website:ourfirstdrink.com Instagram:@joshharoldson@stasiaharoldson@ourfirstdrink
Kristy Fullerton
Kristy is a writer I also met at a Madison Instameet. Reading her perspective on life in our city has been thought-provoking for me and I’ve enjoyed hearing her take on things. See this post for info on a cool project she’s working on called “Illustrating Immigration” and read this post on transitioning to life in a new city. Website:smoothliminal.wordpress.com Instagram:@smoothliminal
Jaimie Myers Jaimie’s an artist and creative director at The Inner Wild. Unlike the others listed here, I haven’t met Jaimie in person but I love her colorful, art-filled feed and her commentary on the creative life. Website:jaimiemyers.com Instagram:@jaimiemeyers
Such a beautiful post and thank you, so much, for including me in this list! So glad we met and connected as we have, all from a party at a conference of all things. I guess you just never know!
Such a beautiful post and thank you, so much, for including me in this list! So glad we met and connected as we have, all from a party at a conference of all things. I guess you just never know!
Thank you, Robin! And ditto! 🙂